


Wounded Warrior

by LadyJaneSlay1554



Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Confrontations, Dethsub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: S04E09 Going Downklok, F/M, Oral Sex, STD, There Will Be Consequences, emotional stress, empowerment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24922801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyJaneSlay1554/pseuds/LadyJaneSlay1554
Summary: Abigail deals with the consequences of her encounter with Nathan on the Dethsub.  Though she goes through pain, she learns a lot about herself, life, bravery and being human.
Relationships: Abigail Remeltindtdrinc/Original Male Characters, Nathan Explosion/Abigail Remeltindtdrinc
Kudos: 3





	1. Stupid Acne

Bumps.

Is it acne? Abigail, a few days off of the deceptively spacious Dethsub, picks at her face in her bathroom mirror. A timer dings in the kitchen and she ambles over and extracts her freshly baked chicken dinner from the oven. She smiles at the smell of one of her favorite meals.

The young producer is back in her apartment, thank goodness, taking a bit of a stay-cation after a grueling extended undersea productivity cruise with Dethklok. She doesn’t even want to remember how long she’d been down there. It’s nice to be back in the familiar comfort of her place. She’s thankful for her plush furniture (no leather, hooks or spikes on her couch, chairs or TV, thank-you-very-much!). She delights in her kitchen, newly stocked with health food (how nice it was to go to the local grocery store and select her favorite fresh fruits, vegetables and meat!).

By all accounts, Abigail should be enjoying her little stay-cation. She thinks about this as she bustles around her galley kitchen, preparing a salad to go along with her rosemary and lemon chicken, hot out of the oven.

But she can’t. These BUMPS – this acne – IS it acne? She’s in her early thirties and she takes great care of her skin. She has her monthly facials like clockwork. She doesn’t leave her place without moisturizing and religiously uses anti-aging night cream to banish fine lines. Her dermatologist sings her praises every time she comes for a check-up. She even made sure to take (and USE!) some expensive clay and mineral facemasks with her on her sub trip – so why is her skin causing her such trouble? Could it have been the rich food on the sub? Abigail thinks back – she tried her best to avoid the fatty, oily meals onboard, even telling Jean-Pierre to keep her portions lean, light and healthy. She even remembers sharing fruit and vegetable snacks with Toki, who never seemed to stop talking about Skwisgaar and cats.

She is about to dump some oil and vinegar dressing on her salad, but decides against it. The young producer brings her meal to her breakfast nook. She keeps racking her brain as she stabs her silverware into a chicken breast a bit more violently than she needs to. Could it be her period? She hasn’t had breakout just before her period for YEARS. So what is up?

Abigail sits. Another sensation gives her pause. She senses a few pinpricks of itchy pain by her bikini area. Probably just some ingrown hairs her esthetician missed during yesterday’s wax. A few swipes of rubbing alcohol should do the trick after her shower. 

She flips open the latest issue of Marie Claire, and decides to focus on that instead. Maybe she can find some new suit and dress ideas to add to her wardrobe. The grey power suit might have to go pretty soon, as she thinks she’s ready for a new look. She wills herself to enjoy her magazine and her meal.

Later, after she’s chatted with her mother and father on the phone about how she’s been settling back in, Abigail decides to call it a night. She lays out her pajamas and a casual outfit for thankfully another stay-cation day. She ties up her hair, strips and climbs into the shower, enjoying the warm water.

Abigail looks down. It’s nice to be bare again, but those bikini bumps are looking pretty bad. They don’t appear to be ingrown hairs and she hasn’t noticed them before. And they’re right by the lady bits. Acne down there, too? Great.

The young woman washes herself – as she runs the washcloth lathered with lavender scented bodywash over her face, she winces and lets loose a little groan of pain – the bumps by her lips are very tender and sting unpleasantly at the slightest touch. This isn’t like any acne she’s had before. She lathers down the rest of her body. The bikini area bumps hurt just the same as the ones by her lips.

No. Could it be…?

She wills herself to enjoy the lavender body wash, breathing in deeply, trying not to think of what ELSE those bumps could be. 

Not THAT.

But the thought remains. 

Damn. It was a few MINUTES, and BARELY that. That fucking sub. That damn busted vibrator. She was desperate. He was desperate. They were both horny as all hell. 

And she broke her most cherished rule.

And now she’s realizing that she might be paying a steep price for that forbidden bit of pleasure with that… Neanderthal.

The washcloth drops from her hands and lays limply against her left foot. Abigail stands in the shower, numb. She doesn’t care that her hair is now sopping wet. She barely notices that the temperature of the water is slowly cooling. But after 20 minutes, she realizes she’s almost freezing and clambers out, shutting the shower off awkwardly with wrinkled, shaking fingertips.

Abigail towels off carefully, wincing as the cotton brushes her afflicted areas briefly. She can’t keep guessing about these bumps – it’ll drive her mad. She dons her pajamas and fetches her laptop. She signs into her medical page and enters a new appointment request with her doctor, Valeria Bergman. She’s glad that Dr. Bergman has an opening the following morning. If Abigail is going to have bad news, she’d rather have it sooner than later.

The producer feels like she’s aged 20 years as she walks back to the bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror. She brushes her teeth, spritzes some detangler in her hair and combs the stuff through. Gargling some mouthwash, she thinks about what’s in her medicine cabinet and opens it. Spitting out the intense blue minty wash, she looks up. 

Band-Aids, clay face mask packets, oily nose strips, rubbing alcohol, perfume, sun tan lotion, Neosporin, aspirin, ibuprofen… she moves the hydrogen peroxide aside to reveal a bottle of melatonin – good for deep sleeping. She’ll definitely need this to conk her out tonight. She unscrews the bottle, dry swallows a capsule and goes to her bedroom.

Abigail sighs. Tomorrow will be a big day. She feels it warrants a prayer and kneels at her bedside. She hasn’t gone to church as much as she’d like to, all things considered. And working for Dethklok could not by any stretch be called a Christian job. But she’s tried to remain kind – giving to charity when she can. Treating the Klokateers like people and not mindless slaves. She’s even volunteered a few times at the local food bank.

She prays, “Dear God, forgive me. I really screwed up in the sub and I feel I’m paying for it now. If it is possible, please, PLEASE let me have grossly misjudged that I might have some sort of horrible STD. Let my doctor use her skills and knowledge to help me. Heal me, Lord.”

Abigail lets out a shuddering sigh, considering healing might not be possible. She sets her face and continues. “And if it is not possible to be healed, let me be strong. Grant me strength to make better decisions and to carry on. Amen.”

She sets her alarm for 7.30am the following morning, climbs into bed gingerly and settles in. The pain seems to have faded away a little. Thankful, the young woman closes her eyes. The melatonin works, and sleep wipes away Abigail’s worries for a blessed eight hours.


	2. To the Doctor's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail drives to her doctor's office.

At 7.30am, her alarm clock trills. Groggily, Abigail wakes up and flips her hair out of her face with her hand, unfortunately brushing the bumps, now even more painful sores, near her lips.

Ugh.

She clambers out of bed and as soon as she moves, she’s met with more blistering discomfort down below. She’s thankful she can see Dr. Bergman at 9am and figure this mess out. 

After washing her face, brushing her hair and donning sweatpants and an old college sweatshirt, Abigail has a quick breakfast of strawberry yoghurt and cereal. She sits and looks again at the Marie Claire magazine, eyeing an elegant but simple navy Chanel dress. Some retail therapy might be in order after her doctor’s visit, she thinks. This could be a good piece to wear to a semiformal event or for a date night. 

Date night… she sighs. How can she even THINK of dating anyone now? She feels like trash. She bitterly swallows her birth control and vitamin pills and finishes her breakfast, cringing in pain as she gets up and puts her cup, bowl and spoon into the dishwasher.

After Abigail brushes her teeth and swishes some mouthwash about, she wraps a dark cotton paisley scarf about her lower face, thankful that it’s late winter and the weather is still chilly enough to warrant such apparel. She puts on a wide brimmed hat and a long, heavy wool coat, turning the collar up. Slipping into some black boots, and grabbing her purse and keys, she departs and climbs into her blue Lexus IS – this year’s latest sport model. Driving it gives Abigail a welcome small thrill of pride in herself and abilities.


	3. Facing Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail views the waiting room and interacts with her nurse.

Traffic flows smoothly and soon she arrives at Dr. Bergman’s office, which is inside a large medical building. She checks in and waits, nervously pulling her scarf around her face to hide the painful, shameful, reddening sores. 

The bundled-up executive scans the waiting room, looking at the other waiting patients. A frazzled-looking young mother with a bawling, squirming infant and an anxious-looking kindergartener sit in a corner. A cute older couple share a magazine a few seats away. A young couple hold hands and whisper to each other. The man rubs the woman’s belly. Shiny, new wedding bands sparkle on their fingers, and the woman sports a sizable diamond ring. Beneath her scarf, Abigail smiles. If she can get through all this, it would be wonderful to eventually find a caring man to settle down with. And – she looks at the woman’s slightly round belly – maybe start a family. She assumes those two must be here for an ultrasound. They’re called in. Another nurse beckons the mom and kids in, too.

Abigail removes her hat and unbuttons her coat. Two more nurses soon arrive and shepherd her and the older magazine lovers in. 

Going into a corner room with a nice view of the city, Abigail turns to the nurse as she shuts the door. 

“Shoes, off, please, Miss Remel-remeltinn…Rem…. I’m sorry,” blusters the middle-aged nurse, who reminds Abigail of her favorite aunt. They share the same haircut, same round, motherly figure and kindly voice.

Abigail grins. “Yeah, it’s a heck of a handle. Just “Abigail” is fine, don’t worry.”

“Yes, my dear. I’m Nurse Marsha.” They shake hands. Marsha logs into the medical computer and pulls up Abigail’s file. “Now, Abigail - won’t you take off your boots and coat and step onto the scale so I can get your weight and height?”

The young producer does as she’s told, leaving coat, hat, purse and boots on and beneath a waiting chair. She keeps the scarf tight around her face, even though she knows she’ll have to take it off soon. Nurse Marsha balances the scale and Abigail is pleased to see she’s lost seven pounds since she last weighed herself when she got off the sub. And she’s 5’8” – as always.

Nurse Marsha enters her information into the computer. She hands the younger woman a cloth hospital gown and a modesty sheet. “So, Abigail, what brings you here today?”

The producer sighs deeply and slowly peels away the scarf. She casts her eyes to the floor. “This.” She points at the sores by her lips. “I want to find out exactly what I have. Got a feeling it isn’t acne. And there’s more just like this on my – in my… uh, bikini area,” she says regretfully, realizing she’s holding back tears of shame.

Nurse Marsha’s face shows a look of empathy. “Oh, sweetheart. I understand.” She gently pats Abigail’s now folded hands. “But if it is what it looks like, it’s very, very common and lots of people deal with it quite easily. You’re in good hands here – Dr. Bergman is an expert in treating herpes cases. She’ll give you the tests, the facts, the care and prescriptions – everything you need.”

Upon hearing the word “herpes,” Abigail’s tears stream forth freely as Nurse Marsha quickly gives her a box of soft facial tissues. The young woman lets out a sob.

“It’s ok, sweetie. You’re going to be just fine, Abigail. It’s ok to cry. Just a few questions and I’ll send Dr. Bergman in for you. Do your sores hurt very much?” the nurse asks, typing.

“Y-yes,” Abigail sniffs, dabbing at her eyes. It’s a good thing she didn’t bother with makeup today – her eyeliner and mascara would be running down her face if she had applied them.

“Do the sores on your face or the ones down below hurt worse?”

“They… they both hurt very badly,” Abigail sniffs. “Like blisters. They’re tender and painful.”

“I see, sweetie.” Nurse Marsha types quickly. Her carnation pink manicured nails make clicking races across the keyboard. “Ok. When were you last sexually active?”

“Two, uh… two and a half weeks ago, I…think? We kissed and… and he went down on me,” she chokes out between sniffs and sobs, remembering everything bitterly as the nurse types it all in.

“Ok. And was this your boyfriend, or a new gen-”

“NOT a boyfriend. A… a fling. A STUPID fling.” She sobs into a fresh tissue. Why couldn’t she have pushed Nathan away like all the other band members?

“I see. It’s ok, sweetie, it’s ok. Just a bit more. When was your last period?”

“Uh.…” Abigail stops sobbing and checks her phone’s monthly tracker app – “Last month – it began on the 30th and ended on the 5th.”

“Very good.” Nurse Martha checks Abigail’s medications. “And… you’re just on the birth control and multivitamins? And melatonin, Nyquil, ibuprofen, and aspirin from time to time? No other meds or vitamins?”

“No.” Abigail’s tears finally stop. She mops up her face and collects herself, sighing.

Nurse Marsha finishes typing and then gently takes Abigail’s hands in hers. “You know, my own youngest daughter has the same thing and she hardly has any outbreaks anymore. Dr. Bergman took care of her, too. The first outbreak is always the worst, but it gets SO MUCH BETTER. I promise you, Abigail. Just listen to Dr. Bergman and follow what she says. You seem like a bright young woman and you’re going to shine again soon. I promise.”

“Thank you, Marsha. That… that truly means a lot,” Abigail says gratefully. She means it from her heart. It’s something encouraging, to know that she’s not alone.

Nurse Marsha squeezes Abigail’s hands, smiles, and lets her go. “Now, put your gown on, ties in the front. Dr. Bergman will be in soon. Be brave, Abigail. You’re going to get through this strong.”

Abigail nods and offers up a small smile. She thanks Nurse Marsha, who leaves, closing the heavy wooden door behind her.


	4. Grim Facts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail gets the facts from Dr. Bergman.

Feeling mercifully uplifted from Nurse Marsha’s encouragement and kindness, Abigail switches from her sweats into the thin, pink, cotton hospital gown. She notices there are tiny blue whales dotting the material and it makes her smile. She honestly wouldn’t hate a summer blouse in this fabric. She remembers seeing and hearing some beautiful, very vocal whales outside of the sub during her time underwater. Nathan was always talking about them….

Her thoughts are interrupted when there’s a knock on the door. “Come in,” she says, pulling the modesty cloth across her lap.

A tall, slim, 50-something woman with silver streaks in her shoulder-length blonde hair steps in. Dr. Bergman adjusts her thin, wireframe glasses and greets the young woman with a perfect, white smile. “Hi there, Abigail. I heard the news from Nurse Marsha. I’m sorry this happened to you, but I’m here to help. Let’s have a look at you.”

Abigail remains sitting on the exam half-bed, looking up at her physician. Dr. Bergman lights up and peers at the sores by her lips with an oroscope usually used for examining ears. “I’m going to take a swab to these sores and we can test them at our lab today. If it is herpes, I know exactly what to prescribe you. If it turns out to just be acne, you can slap some benzol peroxide on these bumps.”

The young producer nods, cringing as the doctor takes a medical swab to her sores. She puts it in a tube with Abigail’s name on it. 

Dr. Bergman then requests that Abigail assume the position for a PAP smear and Abigail inches to the edge of the exam half-bed, placing her feet in the extended stirrups. She feels exposed, ashamed and like she’s on display as the doctor prepares her for a PAP smear with those awful, cold, cervical clamps. Dr. Bergman tells Abigail to try to breathe deeply to calm and center herself. The young woman does her best.

Swiftly, Dr. Bergman swabs her sores down below and performs a quick PAP smear to further investigate internally, explaining the process as she does so. Abigail is happy when it is all over.

Dr. Bergman places the second swab in a tube, and the PAP smear swab in another. She removes the clamps and Abigail relaxes. She lets Abigail know she can cover herself again with her gown and modesty sheet, which the younger woman gratefully does. The physician places the cervical examination clamps into the sink with a clatter and washes her hands. 

“Well, I have some bad news and good news, Abigail. The bad news is that according to what I’ve seen with your sores, you probably do have genital and oral herpes. But the lab will let us know for sure in a few days. I’ll call you as soon as we get the results in. The good news is that this is an extremely common sexually transmitted disease and most people handle it very easily. It might not ever resurface again! One in six Americans have it, but 80% of the folks who do have either oral or genital herpes don’t know they have it – they exhibit no symptoms, so they’re what we call asymptomatic.”

“Lucky me for being one of those lucky 20%, huh?” Abigail says bitterly.

“Well, that’s how the virus stays alive. By cloaking itself so folks don’t think they have it. Sneaky little bastard.” 

“So, what can I do about it?” asks Abigail, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I can prescribe you some antiviral pills that can lessen your outbreaks. They also lower your chances of giving it to your sexual partners. Unfortunately, there is neither a cure nor vaccine at this point. But if you take two of these pills each day, they will help to clear up your outbreak and prevent future ones.”

Abigail brightens a bit. “Are they ok to take with my birth control?”

“Yes. They don’t interfere with any of the medications you’re on now. Just keep your drinking down to two servings of alcohol a day or less and you’ll be just fine. None of my patients have had any of the averse side effects.”

“Ok. That… that’s doable, I guess.” Abigail finds herself getting cautiously hopeful. She supposes she can just incorporate the pills into her breakfast vitamin and birth control routine. Pretty easy.

Dr. Bergman types into the computer as Abigail thinks of more questions to ask the doctor. She decides to ask the most immediate.

“How long does this first… round… last?”

“The sores from this outbreak will eventually burst open and heal.”

Abigail can’t stop herself from making a shocked and disgusted face.

“You’ll be fine in two to four weeks. There won’t be any scarring, but it’s important to not irritate the sores. You can take ibuprofen and your antivirals to help with the healing and pain. There might be some flu-like symptoms, too, so get plenty of rest, fluids and healthy foods.”

Abigail thinks – she might have to request a few more days off work. She hopes Charles will understand – she can just say it’s the flu.

Dr. Bergman continues. “You know, herpes is only a minor skin issue that comes and goes. But lots of times, the outbreaks taper off and even may go away entirely. Especially with the antivirals. Just don’t have sex on an outbreak and make sure you use protection when you are back to normal and do engage in intercourse.”

“Can I spread it even if I’m not having an outbreak?” Abigail ventures.

“Yes, herpes is spread by skin to skin contact. Something called viral shedding happens when the virus is active but you might have no outbreak symptoms aside from possibly some persistent itching at your usual outbreak sites.”

“Ah, uh, ok. Any tips on telling guys about… all this?”

“Most patients find that being straightforward and informative helps. Tell them about the meds you’re on, and that they reduce the risk of transmitting the virus. Have some condoms on-hand. Don’t skip your antivirals.”

“Alright. I guess it’s one of those things that is easier said than done.”

“Yes, but you seem like a very responsible and articulate young woman who wants to keep herself and others safe. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how nonchalant many men are about this. You might even find one who also has the virus, too. Like I said, it’s very common. And as for the men who judge you on this alone, you don’t need them. They are simply not worth your time nor thoughts.” She grins.

Abigail smiles. Strong female recognizes strong female.

Dr. Bergman continues. “I encourage you to call your past boyfriends and any other men you’ve been sexually active with and inform them that you have herpes and that they should take a PCR antibody blood test to see if they have it in their systems, though they may be asymptomatic. It’s a very responsible thing to do. And it will help you get more comfortable with talking to others about this virus.”

Abigail sighs. She’s got her work cut out for her.

“I want you to especially remember this, Abigail.” Dr. Bergman, just like Nurse Marsha, holds Abigail’s hands, an earnest expression on her face. “You are more than this diagnosis. You are a strong, talented, self-made, independent woman and this is a very common, and, at its root, a very benign skin disease. It doesn’t define you, and you have the ability to control it. Herpes is just a little, albeit REAL consequence of love, sex and being human. You are neither dirty nor undesirable as a female. Be informed, mighty, confident and responsible, Abigail.”

The younger woman nods, encouraged. She sighs and tries to look determined.

Dr. Bergman smiles again and squeezes Abigail’s hands. Then, she turns back to the computer, typing. “Your test results and, if you need them, prescriptions, will be in within the week. Until then, take ibuprofen for the pain and Nyquil for a good night’s sleep.”

“Yes, Dr. Bergman. Thank you.” She’s a bit lost for words.

“I’m here for you, Abigail. You won’t face this alone. I’ll be calling you later this week.” The doctor finishes typing and logs off the computer. She offers her hand to Abigail, standing. “Feel free to call the office with any questions. Goodbye for now.” She turns and goes, leaving Abigail alone in the room, who shucks off her pink gown, changes back into her outfit and leaves quickly, feeling a flurry of different emotions.


	5. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail experiences her first outbreak, does some research and soul searching.

Days pass and the sores worsen. Abigail has resigned herself to her fate. She’s been allowed an extra two weeks off by Charles, and spends her days trying not to think of Dr. Bergman’s fateful phone call. The best distraction has been watching re-runs of The Amazing Race – she loves seeing all of the bustling, very different cities, people and sites the contestants visit and the cultural challenges in which they hurriedly compete. 

She’s watched three seasons and four episodes when she’s startled by the phone buzzing beside her. It’s Nathan. She rolls her eyes and sends him to her voicemail box. She doesn’t feel like confronting him about this yet – not when she herself doesn’t even know if she has herpes. Someone to deal with later.

She resumes watching her program. Two more episodes in and the phone buzzes to life once more. She decides to have a quick chat with her mother, telling her she might have “the flu” and is going to stay home a few more days. Her mother offers to bring some food by the next day and she gladly accepts. It will be nice to see a familiar face. 

Five minutes after she hangs up, the phone buzzes again.

“DOCTOR BERGMAN’S OFFICE,” the screen practically screams.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

Both tests came back positive.

Abigail Remeltintdrinc has genital and oral herpes. 

She sobs on the phone a bit with Dr. Bergman, who offers her more words of encouragement and tells her where to get her prescription. Feeling a bit doomed, even though this news was coming, Abigail hangs up the phone and gets dressed to pick up her new medicine.

That first outbreak of her virus does indeed ravage Abigail with flu-like symptoms – fever, fatigue, aches, chills, a loss of appetite. And of course, she must deal with the sores. The itchy, painful, rupturing sores that she must take pill after pill to alleviate. She downs two hefty rounds of antivirals daily, a few more of ibuprofen. The young producer swigs a shot of Nyquil each night to help her sleep through the pain. Standing, sitting, walking and any sort of movement hurts and shames her. She’s glad she’s been given time off to deal with this privately.

But it’s her mind that tortures her the most. Though she wants to cling to her wise doctor’s words of encouragement, the regret and negative feelings always seem to find a way in. She can’t believe how weak, how stupid she was to let things get so out of hand on that sub. It’s enough to make her feel like a sad shadow of her former self. She suspects it’s Nathan that gave her this – how could it not be? And how could he – how could EVERY man in Dethklok – NOT be CRAWLING with STDs? But she won’t know for sure until she confronts and talks to every man she’s been with. The incubation period for the virus can be short or long. It can surface days after an encounter or decades.

But thankfully, slow day by slow day, in two and a half weeks, her sores have healed. She regains her strength and returns to Mordhaus for work. But she feels she cannot stay at this job much longer, as the emotional and physical toll it has taken on her is getting to be much too much. She starts sending her resume to headhunters and other record labels.

In an attempt to get a small semblance of control of her life and stop taking so many medications, Abigail quits her birth control pills and asks for a copper IUD upon her next check-in appointment with her doctor, a month after her first outbreak ends. She grits her teeth and breathes deeply as Dr. Bergman implants the device. Just like that, Abigail can go the next 12 years worry-free from pregnancy. One less thing on her mind. For now, her sores have healed and she’s back to normal, but she dreads her next outbreak.

Her diagnosis and first horrible outbreak is a catalyst of why she quits as Dethklok’s producer, though she heavily colors it with her relationship with the band becoming “unprofessional.” It’s still a perfectly true statement. Stung by the past events, she tries to distance herself as much as possible from the band, overcome with shame and anger. She darkly thinks that if she were somehow taken advantage of, she could very well use her body as a weapon, leaving her attacker with a painful, lingering surprise.

The stigma of the disease haunts her relentlessly. She hears it referenced in the media, amongst friends and acquaintances. It seems like everyone everywhere picks on folks with herpes, thinking they’re dirty, promiscuous whores. 

Abigail tells no one about the affliction but her mother and her older sister, who help talk her through her plight and her feelings. It feels good to have listening ears and some comforting shoulders to cry on as she deals with her new reality. 

She spends long days and nights researching the virus, searching for a cure. Though all the apparent “cures” are being peddled by quacks, she does pick up lots of useful information about the virus and how she herself can suppress it. Chocolate, red wine and sugary foods seem to cause outbreaks, but turmeric, lysine and resveratrol, nutrient found in the skin of red grapes, mitigate them. A healthy, balanced diet and a low-stress lifestyle seem to help, too. Abigail feels happiness knowing that she CAN control the virus – it doesn’t have to control her. And by taking her antivirals daily, she hasn’t had an outbreak since her first one, which Dr. Bergman assured her would be the worst. Abigail honestly can’t imagine anything more painful or humiliating. She hopes her doctor is right.


	6. Turning the Page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail confronts her past and looks forward to the future.

Another month passes and in that time, Abigail has quit Dethklok (that fiasco of an African dinner with Nathan declaring his undying love for her helped to cement THAT decision). 

She’s been interviewed by five different record labels already and has three potential job offers. She feels better about herself and her abilities and dares to be optimistic once again about turning the page to a new chapter in her life.

Abigail manages to call or meet up with her past boyfriends and a few guys she had some casual fun with in her earlier days. Most are very sympathetic when they hear of what’s happened to her. Though many are shocked at the news, they listen patiently and let her explain what she’s learned. They call her “brave” and “honest” for telling them about her ailment. She urges them to get the PCR antibody test to make sure they’re still clean and they all agree to let her know the results. They part with handshakes and hugs.

In the days and weeks following, she hears back from them – all are clean. They reassure her that her honesty is admirable and a few even suggest meeting up again in the future for coffee or drinks. Abigail is grateful and pleasantly surprised. 

One man, an attractive, fit teacher named Robert, even posits the idea of going on another date, if she’s up for it. “No outbreak, no problem,” he says. Abigail’s hope is rekindled for romance in her future and she gladly accepts. Truth be told, she still has a big crush on Robert since they met at a karaoke bar a few years back and ended up having a few romantic dinners followed by some X-rated evenings together. She’s eager to pick up where they left off.

But her most recent boyfriend Pavel is not as kind. He calls her a “groupie whore” and accuses her of sleeping with every member of Dethklok. He refuses to believe that he’s ever have the disease and/or been able to spread it. Pavel swears it’s because he has no symptoms whatsoever and gets “tested for STDs every 6 months like clockwork and nothing has ever shown up.” Abigail tries to explain that herpes is not tested for in a normal STD check up regimen. She explains the PCR antibody blood test and what it means to be asymptomatic. Scowling and turning his back on her, the hot-headed man storms off, telling her never to talk to him again. She feels awful. She was only trying to inform and to be of help. 

Despite this hostility, Abigail knows she must move on. She thinks hopefully of her date with Robert in just a week.


	7. Showdown Derailed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cornickelson's funeral and Abigail's conversation with Nathan do not go as planned.

But her last confrontation looms – Nathan Explosion. She’s been invited by Charles to attend Roy Cornickelson’s funeral, which is in two days. Abigail knows Nathan will be delivering the eulogy. The menacing-looking vocalist has been texting her day and night, but she has given him nothing but scant, monosyllabic answers, if any at all, in an attempt to push him away. And besides, sharing bad news like hers is best done in person. Abigail is hopeful that Nathan will be as empathetic as most of her exes. She intends to tell him about her discovery and diagnosis after the funeral.

During the service, Abigail sits with Toki, who is very happy to see her again and gives her a big hug. He starts babbling about cats after he introduces her to a tall man who used to be part of the band. The man’s name is Magnus Hammersmith. Apparently, the two are friends and Magnus saved Toki’s life at some rock and roll camp when Toki had an extreme diabetic reaction. Abigail nods and shakes Magnus’ hand and the three chat quietly as they wait for the funeral service to start. Though she thinks Magnus is very handsome and mysterious-looking, with his glazed eye and silver streaked hair, the ex-producer judges the ex-guitarist’s open black denim jacket as hardly appropriate attire for attending a funeral. On the other hand, she thinks she herself looks rather elegant in her new navy Chanel dress – her retail therapy splurge after her fateful visit with Dr. Bergman.

As she listens to Nathan’s eulogy, she’s touched at how emotional the singer gets when he talks about getting the band back together. She’s sure now that it won’t be a difficult thing to pull him aside after the funeral and tell him her own emotional news. She waits him to finish the eulogy, hopeful that they can get this all out in the open and she can pick up the pieces of her life....

**Author's Note:**

> A while ago, something happened to a friend of mine that changed her life forever - she got herpes. Though the disease itself is a bit more of a painful, infrequent inconvenience, the cruel stigmas that persist are far worse. 
> 
> Here are some facts:  
> 17% of Americans have genital herpes, and 50-80% of Americans have oral herpes.  
> People with STDs did not choose to get them.  
> These people are not dirty.  
> These people are not unworthy of love or affection.  
> These people are simply humans who had sex with other humans.  
> These people strive to live their lives normally and to be understood.
> 
> The journey to confidence and knowledge can be a long one once you're diagnosed. But it is certainly an attainable one.
> 
> Shine on, my friends. Be strong, be wise, be compassionate.


End file.
